Blowjob: It's not always better than nojob

I had an interesting conversation last week via email where a friend of mine mentioned that he was happy to receive a blowjob after a long drought of
sex. He only had one complainant...it was a bad blowjob.

Every woman who takes the liberty of going down on a man thinks that her technique needs no work. That you, the man, should be grateful that she even went down on you. Unfortunately I have news for you ladies, you could probably use some much needed pointers. Some of these I've mentioned briefly before but this will more in depth.

So let's dive in:
FACT
Blowjobs are a lot a work but can still be fun.

FACT
Going down on your man is still illegal in 15 states, so treasure your naughty actions.

FACT
Not all women were created equal, sorry.

Now for the fun stuff. Basically a blowjob consist of two main techniques (both of which can be built upon), the suck-swallow and the deep throat. The suck-swallow is the easier of the two and the standard go-to but just because it's easier you shouldn't be giving him a yawn fest.

Remember these simple things when going down on a man:

LADIES
Breathe!
Since your mouth will be full during this activity remember to breathe thru your nose. It'll help you from gagging and needing to take frequent stops

Use Your Hands
Don't just hang your hands at your side during a bj, use those extra tools to help stimulate him in all the right places. But remember don't grab his balls too hard (unless he's into that). I try to stick to a "rolling" motion as if I were rolling out small balls of dough.

Pay Him Lip Service
It is a blowjob but don't forget to use those lips of yours for sucking, nibbling, and of course any tongue action you can provide. This will help keep him going while you give your jaw a break.

Get Comfy
Make sure you're in a position that gives you complete access to everything you want to touch without losing your balance. Being on your knees can be a drag after awhile so perhaps put a pillow under you.

Be Creative
Blowjobs are wonderful on their own...but if you want to give him something he'll be sure to remember you can try different things to enhance his experience. Ice cubs, humming with him your mouth, an Altoid. Try different things and see what he likes.

For the ladies that want to attempt deep throating beware: Not all women are created equal. Meaning, not all women have the ability to deep throat. The main technique of taking a cock deep is to suppress your gag reflex. If you're unable to do this you will suck, but not literally...literally you will gag. And honestly, that's not attractive. If you really insist on learning you can practice on a banana (don't be upset if you don't get it right away nor if you're just unable to do it) or you can cheat with this trick: while going as deep as you can on him, use your hand on the shaft to simulate an extended mouth. He probably won't even notice as he'll be in pure bliss.

And men, don't think you got off so easy. If you want a blowjob don't make it difficult for us ladies. Sometimes you are your own demises. Be courteous and follow these tips:

GENTLEMEN

Don't Hold Her Head
We are going as deep as we want to. Any head pushing makes you look like an ass, unless of course she places your hand on the back of her head, then gently push her deeper. If she resist, let up.

Groom, Groom, Groom
Tame the jungle that is your pubic hair. I hate swallowing a "furball" as I'm enjoying giving a good bj. It can turn her off or worse cause us to instinctively chew to get it out. Ouch!

Be Squeaky Clean
I shouldn't need to point this out, but after seeing guy after guy forget this important rule...WASH YOUR COCK! If it smells funny, is sticky, or extra dry looking...I'm probably going to head in the other direction (no pun intended). Oh, and don't forget under those balls!

Announce Your Arrival
Never cum in a woman's mouth without asking her. Period. I know you all get caught up in the moment but when you feel yourself getting close just say so. This isn't a porn. Also, it'll give her the option of pulling away or taking it like a champ.

Now everyone, go out and have fun sucking someone off.

And for the ultra considerate studs, here's a recipe of my own that even you're sure to love, to give you that extra sweet taste:

Miss L's Super Spunk Smoothie
1 cup pineapple, fresh or canned
1 banana, frozen
1 cup apple juice
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 TBS honey
Optional ingredients: 1 raw egg white, 2 TBS wheat germ, 2 TBS flax seed, 1 shot wheat-grass juice

Blend all ingredients in a blender until smooth. 
Drink immediately. 
Repeat daily for best results. 

Takes about one week to go into effect.
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It'll only hurt worse if you...

Miss L finally stopped being anti-social last night and headed out to the city for a night with some fellow BDSM fans and kinksters alike. It was my first meeting with the group so I brought along my most trusted entourage members: the fiance and my best male friend. It's funny to see my man in these situations as even though he isn't into BDSM his natural curiosity peaks and he can't help but be his friendly self, ensuring that the conversations he gets himself into are always interesting to say the least.

This group was a lot different than the last group I went to with sweet sub as the members were relatively around my age. I didn't see one woman who could have been my grandmother and don't think I saw any over-the-top older men. Yay for a target crowd!

I settled in quickly as there were people there whom I have been talking with via FetLife or otherwise for years to more recently who I had yet to meet face-to-face. Nice surprises all around. They were a friendly bunch of folks, not at all stand-offish and generally open to any questions.

One boy (he is in all rights a man but he was such a hug-able size that in my mind he's a boy) really stood out for me. He's a Dom but is ever so adorable and just screaming: "Collar me! Spank me!" At least that was my internal monologue whenever he got near me for hugs. If he were to ever want to bend over for me all he'd have to do is name the time and place. Oh and did I mention he has amazing hair for tugging? Long and blonde...Mmm.

Attending the meeting was suppose to help quiet the cravings I had. At least murmur it for a time but I think it actually ramped it up! I found myself in mid-scratching, getting massaged randomly, squeezing butts, and all but licking some people who stopped by my table to chat. I'm so naughty sometimes.

Contrary to popular belief you aren't suppose to picture others naked to calm your nerves for an adverse affect of the giggles. But trust me, there was no giggling when picturing everyone naked, just sheer heated desire.

Mental note: It was a good idea to leave the riding crop at home!
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